Post exam reflection after a stressful first exam

I wrote my first exam for Term 2 last week and scored 96%. Which was surprising and a relief since I didn’t feel like I was adequately prepared to get that mark. I was really struggling to adjust to all the newness and being away from my family and feeling overwhelmed. Here’s a post exam reflection after a particularly stressful medical school exam.

Post exam reflection #1: What worked well

Taking advantage of summer break to pre-study

Independent studying and pre-learning came to the rescue again. I’m so glad I used summer break to start learning the hormones, their actions, regulation and the intracellular pathways. The endocrine and reproductive block was barely 3 weeks long but it was packed with material. And surprisingly, it was very histology and embryo heavy which are a pain to learn.

Having that physiology knowledge helped ease some of the study load. Especially knowing the hormonal regulation of the ovarian cycle. That chart alone is a beast. If I hadn’t prepped, I would have been drowning amidst everything else that was going on.

Making a short-list of weak topics

Leading up to the exam, I noted the topics I was getting wrong during practice questions. Then I revisited just those topics, sometimes using lecture slides and sometimes using YouTube videos. I like doing this because although the list can start to get long, it doesn’t take that much time to cover the topics. So with a relatively short investment, I can make a big leap in knowledge and understanding. It’s far more effective than re-visiting all the lecture slides from start to end, which is just passive learning. After I went through this process and there were still weak points, I made Anki cards to reinforce the concepts and did more practice questions.

Exercise

Exercise was, and is, my one constant amidst all the changes and challenges since moving to Grenada. Aside from feeling more energized and focused after a workout, exercise really helped keep my stress at a manageable level. Being able to workout allowed me to feel like I still had some control over my life. There are many things in this new stage that are out of my control. So it was comforting to have something remain constant, which helped keep me sane.

Post exam reflection #2: what made this block challenging

Adjusting to a new routine for my new environment

The greatest challenge for this block was figuring out a new routine that works well with my new situation. Like figuring out when and how to do groceries and laundry. Getting familiar with the bus schedule. And above all, figuring out how to do these things in the most time-effective way. Which is frustrating because it felt like I had finally gotten into the perfect rhythm by the end of Term 1. Now I have to figure things out all over again. I talked about the small challenges that come with adjusting to a new place in more detail in my last post, so I won’t go into it again.

Terrible sleep

Another big challenge was really crappy sleep. Since moving to the island, my early sleep time shifted to grandma sleep time. I went from sleeping around 10-10:30 to barely keeping my eyes open around 8:00 some nights (partly because it gets dark here by 6:30 pm). Despite being super tired and able to fall asleep, I couldn’t stay asleep. I’d wake up feeling like I hadn’t slept at all but also couldn’t fall asleep again. So I’d start my day around 4-4:30 am. Which was great for studying. But knowing that that I wasn’t sleeping well to adequately rest my brain and body further added to the stress I already felt lol.

I’m still having terrible sleep. So far, I’ve had a total of 2 nights in the last 30 days when I felt like I actually slept. Even though I wake up and sleep at the same time, workout regularly, and do (most of) the things Dr Huberman talks about for getting good sleep. I don’t even scroll through my phone when going to bed. At this point, I’ve given up lol. I’ve come to terms with the sleepless, restless nights. And that I probably won’t sleep well again until I’m back home with my husband.

Skipping first day of classes

My husband’s flight home was on the first day of classes. So obviously I skipped lectures, which I don’t regret. I wanted to spend that last bit of time with him and I wasn’t in the emotional mindset to attend class anyway. The part I regret is not studying afterwards. I ended up going to campus for a few hours to study with friends. But I didn’t get much done. It was the first day of class and also the first time seeing a lot of classmates in person so that time was mostly spent chatting. (Although, the upside to doing this was immediately realizing that I can’t study with a group on campus. It’s inefficient for me.)

So I started that block a little behind, with the material carrying over from day to day. And because a good chunk of the weekends were spent on all the non-studying things I had to do, I wasn’t truly able to catch up. I felt like I was constantly behind throughout the block.

Self-pressure to do well

For the cherry on top, I was stressing myself out more by expecting that I achieve the same grades as last term. My family is doing everything they can to support me throughout this journey. And it’s more than the financial support. It’s the time lost with family. It’s the upended routines and extra work they’ve taken on because I’m not there to do my part anymore.

And because I felt unprepared throughout the block combined with all the other challenges, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to perform at a level that justified all their sacrifices. I know they don’t expect that of me. And that I shouldn’t think this way. But that’s just the reality of being in medical school so far from home. When you know you’re investing an enormous amount of time and money to make this happen. It’s hard not to have those thoughts cross your mind.

When I finally got my exam results, after 3 very restless days, I started to cry. It was like a wave of relief – that last term wasn’t a fluke, that I can still do well in a new place, that the hard work and early morning studying wasn’t for nothing.

So that was my post exam reflection. I’m optimistic that some things will be easier for this current block and that it will go more smoothly.

How do you deal after a stressful exam?

-M

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